How grocery stores accommodate families with differently-abled children

Having a child with a mobile impairment can make shopping almost impossible. I admit that I would do most of my shopping when my daughter was at school or during her many different therapies.  It was just too hard to push her wheelchair with one hand and pull a shopping cart with the other.  I also did not like not being able to see and talk to her when I am pushing her wheelchair.  I want to see the reaction on her face as we are shopping (she has Rett syndrome and is non-verbal). This is why I am so excited our local grocery store has Caroline's Carts.  What is a Caroline Cart you might ask.  It is a shopping cart specially designed for children with disabilities.

My daughter is just like any other girl, she loves to go shopping.  She is a people watcher and loves to look at the people as they walk.  I know what she wants because she tells me with her eyes.  I know she wants to pick out some of the food we buy but lately she has not had the chance.  I want to share the experience of shopping with my daughter, but before today I had no choice.

Now, thanks to our local grocery store H.E.B. I have a choice to bring my daughter shopping with me.  H.E.B. now offers it's differently-abled shoppers Caroline's Cart.  H.E.B make shopping with my daughter even easier for me because I am able to reserve a Caroline's Cart.  All I have to do it call up the store and reserve a time that's best for me and my daughter (you can also show up and ask for it, but I do not want to take the chance that the carts are not available).  When I get to the H.E.B. store, I call and let them know were I am parked.  For an added convenience they bring the cart out to my car. The Caroline's Cart handles swing out so I can transfer her safely (no more getting the wheelchair out and struggling as I am putting it together).   Caroline's Cart has a three point harness system so I feel she is safe sitting in the cart.  I am able to shop to my hearts desire while looking and talking to her throughout the store.  If I want to stop the cart it also has a break to keep the cart in place so it does not move.  When I am ready to check out, an employee always comes and helps me unload my groceries.  After I pay for my groceries they will walk me out to my car.  They unload my groceries into my car while I am getting my daughter settled into her car seat. Finally they take the cart back to the store so I do not have to leave my child unattended. I am not sure how other groceries store do it, but my H.E.B know how to make my groceries shopping experience memorable.

My hope is that more and more retail stores will show the special needs community they care by providing a Caroline's cart for a great shopping experience.

At this time not all H.E.B grocery stores have Caroline's Cart, so please call and ask.  As of now there are four H.E.B. grocery stores in the Central Texas area that have Caroline's Cart:

H.E.B at Muller in Austin

H.E.B. at Burnet in Austin  

H.E.B at East White Stone in Cedar park 

H.E.B. at Coppers Cove 

If you would like to learn more about Caroline's carts click here.

Disney's New Disability Access Service is Fair?

We went to Disney World a few months ago and were able to try their new “Disability Access Service”.  I can say our trip to DisneyWorld was not Magical!   I am not saying it was all bad.  I did like the way all the cast members looked Marebear in the eye and called her "princess". But the problem is we spent most of our time trying to work within the parameters of the new "Disability Access Service" system.

The new "Disability Access Service" system was developmental due to misuse (see blog post on Disney World changes to disability policy ).

How does it work:

When you get to the park you go to the guest service desk and ask for the “Disability Access Service”.  They give you a card with your child’s picture and name (see photo below).  This card is basically used as a Fastpast.  The cast member will look at the wait time of the ride, and give your party (no more than 6 people in a party.  So I guess if you have more than four kids, you get the pleasure of picking which person will have to go and wait in line.)  You are also only allowed to have one ride at a time on your card.  So if the wait time for the Peter Pan ride is over 1 hour (which most of the time it is) you are not able to ride any other rides during that time. 

As you can see we were there for a week and in no way did we ride all the rides.

I understand the new “Disability Access Service” program has rules, but what about special cases? For instance my family was waiting (off to the side of a ride) for the designated time of a ride.  We only had ten minutes left until our ride time when my daughter had a bowl movement. For the sake of everyone, I took her for the extremely long walk to the first aid station so I could properly change her. By the time we were able to get back to the ride it was past our time indicated on the card.  The cast member would not let us ride the ride because she states we had not come in the one hour of time allotted on our card.  Needless to say I was more than a little upset.  I informed her that I was not out in the park riding other rides or doing anything remotely fun, I was changing a smelly diaper.  But to her the   “Disability Access Service” was bound by its rules and we need to wait the same as everyone else because if we didn't it would not be “FAIR” to the other guest.   FAIR.  Who said life was fair?  I mean life is not fair for my daughter or our family. 

It is not fair that we have to:

• Worry about Seizure on a ride and what to do when our daughter has seizures.
• Worry about how to keep her from having a seizure.
• Keep her emergency seizure medicine with us at all time in the park and administer them to her in the park.
• Find a first aid station every time she soiled her diaper. (we are never close to one when it happens)
• Bring a packed diaper bag in the park for a 10 year old
• Worry about her immune system becoming compromised.
• Find a private place in the park we can tube feed her.
• Make sure everything is wheelchair accessibility.
• Know how to transferring a 70 pound preteen from a wheelchair to a ride while the ride is moving.
• Worry about sensory overload or melt downs.
• Worry about the heat or cold because she cannot regulate her own body temperature. 
• Knowing at any time she will have a meltdown.
• Never hearing her say to me what her favorite part of going to Disney because she is non-verbal.
• Watch as people stare and point at her as we walk around
• Dealing with non-compassionate people

The list goes on and on...

So why is everyone so concerned with life being fair for everyone?  I mean I wish life was fair, but as you can read that clearly is not the case.   So they are right it is not fair that my daughter will wheel up to a ride after a person and get to go on the ride before them.  But you know what else is not fair? I will most likely out-live my daughter. I have to feed, diaper and talk for my 10 year old daughter.   When put in perspective of waiting a little longer in line so that I might have one more precious memory with my daughter before she leaves this earth it doesn't seem so unfair.  One more memory of our family at Disney World, " the Happiest Place on Earth" as I am laying in my bed crying because I miss her so much and can no longer hug her or kiss her little face.  So you’re right it's not fair.

So I ask parents of typically developing kids to rethink the idea of being “fair” when it comes to special needs kids.  It’s okay for your kids to let a special needs child have a little more time with a toy when it comes to sharing.  It’s okay for your kids to let a special needs child go first.  AND it’s okay for your kids to let special needs kids go on a ride a little bit before them too!  I mean isn't that what being compassionate is all about?  And isn't compassion what we as parents are trying to teach our children?  

Disney World: Changes to "Disability Access Service" pass. WHY?

A few months ago we went to Disney World.   This was our second time going and I have to say, Disney World just isn't what it used to be, at least not for kids with Special Needs.  Now I know Disney had to change it policies due to some people misusing the program.  I do not blame Disney for this; I blame the people that were misusing the program.  To anyone that told Disney they had a "special needs child" when they didn't, I say, "Shame on you!" To any person that paid a person to uses the "accessability" pass, I say, "Shame on you!" To anyone that used the program for anything other then what it was intended for, I say, "Shame on you!"

Here are some of the Reasons Why I think Disney changed its accessibility policy?

Complaints:  Did Disney receive complaints from people?  Are people worried a child with special needs will ride more rides than them or their child?  Let me assure you that is not the case.  For many different reasons children with special needs cannot stay at the park the entire day.  Some of the reason can include:  seizures, over stimulation and weariness).

Misuse: I have heard that some wealthy people were paying "disabled people" to have quicker access to rides.  I have also heard some people were saying their child was "Autistic" when their children has no diagnose of any kind.  I am appalled at this practice and think it is wrong on so many levels!  Just because there are "invisible" disabilities doesn't mean these family do not have challenges.  Why a family would lies about their child having a disability just so they did not have wait in line?  The only answer I can think is ignorance, of what our families go through.  Why should my daughter (and other special needs children) have to suffer for these people's evil deeds. It was not children with special needs that miss used this program, but they are the one that lose out in the end. 

It's Not fair:  Your right, I will give you this one.  It is not fair that my daughter will wheel up to a ride after you and get to go on the ride before you.  But you know what else is not fair? I will most likely out-live my daughter. I have to feed, diaper and talk for my 10 year old daughter.   When you put that in perspective of waiting a little longer in line so that I might have one more precious memory with my daughter before she leaves this earth it doesn't seem so unfair.  One more memory of our family at Disney World, " the Happiest Place on Earth" as I am laying in my bed crying because I miss her so much and can no longer hug her or kiss her little face.  So you’re right it's not fair.

The problem with this change in program is it does not make the person that misused the program suffer, but the families with a special needs child are the ones that ultimately suffer.  This change in their program has turned a Magical adventure into a few days of ordinary life.   We are still dealing with the same issues we have to deal with in our city and towns.  Disney used to be the one place we could thrive with our kids, where for a few days we could forget all of our worries and really enjoy time with our kids.  But now Disney is just another theme park that doesn't care about the needs of special needs kids.  It is all so sad I could just cry, but it won’t change anything. 

I am sorry Disney, but your argument as to why you have the "new policy" called “Disability Access Services" pass is fallacy!  You need to go back to the drawing board and come up with a better plan!