Friday, May 6, 2011

Article from my newsletter.

In-Laws or Out-Laws

It has been said that when you marry someone you are not only marring them, but their family too. Nowhere is that more evident that when you add children to the marriage.
There are so many things that a seasoned mother can teach new mothers. So why is the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship a strained one? I know firsthand how hard it can be to get along with your mother-in-law. My mother–in-law is from England she is an only child and was raised to be a proper young lady, while I was the youngest of five children and a tomboy too. Needless to say we clashed at first. It was not until I read the book of Ruth that I realized that a daughter-in-law/mother-in-law relationship did not have to be broken. It taught me that I shouldn’t see my mother-in-law’s mothering advice as questioning my mothering abilities, but that I should cherish it as wisdom and guidance. This is not hard to do if you remember that you two do have something in common; you both love the same man. For your mother-in-law it is her son and for you it is your husband.
Both of you want the best for this man, although most likely you two have different ideas of how to go about doing that. Try to remember that you are both on the same team. Your mother-in-law did such a great job raising her son that you fell madly in love with him, and telling her that can be a starting point for reconciliation.
The first thing I did to help my relationship with my mother-in-law was to ask her for forgiveness for my apart in the fracture of our relationship. Second I had to effetely communicate with her. I asked her if she would not dropping by unexpectedly and in return I wouldn’t call her only when I needed her to watch the kids. Finally I decide not only to pray for our relationship, but to love her just as she is funny quirks and all. Remember some day you will be the Mother-in-law!
by Wendy Buxton