As we get closer and closer to the end of this school year, I cannot help but notice all the post about kids like my daughter that are going into middle school next year. I see all the picture with the quotes, "class of 2021" for a moment I get excited. I almost commented "my daughter too", but then I realized that may not be true. No, I do not plan on her being held back in any grades, but what I mean is special needs kids have the option to stay in school until there twenty-first birthday. Which means she maybe class of 2021 or 2022 or 2023. My daughter is also in a life skills class and has little interaction with the kids in the general education classes so will the kids even know her? Will she even be able to walk across the stage at graduation? ( I hope so, or will we have to fight the school for that honor.) I also wonder if she will be able to get a High school diploma or a completion certificate.
And during her senior year while all the other parents and teens are contemplating what college their child will attend, I will be terrified as to what to do with my daughter when school is over. I will not longer have the comfort of an IEP (individual education plan) to make sure her goals are accomplished. I will have to say good bye to the "me" time I have while she is at school. She will have to attend ever single event I attend including doctor visits, running errands, and lunches with friends etc. The problem is when I see these pictures of moms with their daughter at their six grade completion ceremony, it just reminds me of all that I will miss out on doing with my daughter. It reminds me of how we should be picking out an instrument for her to play in the middle school band or decided what sports she wants to play or helping her decided what clubs to join. It reminds me how different our life really is from a family with only "typically" developing kids. It reminds me in all that we will miss out on doing with our daughter.
I try not to think about all of this but it's hard not to think about it. I know I only have three years of middle school and four years of high school and this will all be reality, weather I want it to or not. I do not want to sit around worrying about it, I want to be proactive and prepare myself for it. Don't misunderstand me, I am looking forward to spending time with my daughter. I love the mother/daughter events we attend together. I love doing girly things with her. I love taking her places with me and just hanging out with her. I like talking to her while driving in the car and seeing her sitting next to me in the passenger seat. I am happy to be moving into another stage in my life.
The problem is when I see these pictures of moms with their daughter at their six grade completion ceremony, it just reminds me of all that I will miss out on doing with my daughter. It reminds me of how we should be picking out an instrument for her to play in the middle school band or decided what sports she wants to play or helping her decided what clubs to join.
No matter what the future holds for my daughter we are thankful she is here with us and we are able to share this journey with her.
